A Crying State of Mind

emotions pain Apr 08, 2019
         Sometimes songs feel like daggers and sometimes they feel like blankets. 
 
I've been crying a lot lately. The unexpected kind. 
 
There are cries you hold back, push down and beg to go away and then there is the unexpected. The warm water running down your face, reaching your chin before you even recognize it's happening. 
 
Not the kind of cry that feels like the floodgates burst, but almost natural, effortlessly, unconsciously, like a relaxed breath out. 
 
I used to cry. A lot. For years at one period of my life. 
 
I would hide in washrooms, hide in blankets, hide in cars. I would cry. I would cry for things that never happened and for things I couldn't forget. I would cry about all the things I couldn't change and those I was afraid I might not be able to. I would cry for people I'd never met, places I'd never been and moments that weren't a part of my experience. 
 
Then I...
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